Spiritual Curses or Poor Choices? The Real Reasons Some Ghanaians Struggle in Marriage

In Ghana, marriage remains one of the most valued milestones of adult life, deeply embedded in culture, family expectations and social identity. Yet despite this reverence, many Ghanaians find themselves trapped in cycles of broken relationships, multiple marriages or painful divorces — and a significant number are quick to attribute their struggles to spiritual forces or so-called "spiritual marriages."

Blaming the Unseen

It has become increasingly common for people to seek help from self-proclaimed spiritual leaders, convinced that an unseen hand is blocking their path to a stable union. Charms, amulets and elaborate rituals are sought as remedies, and the Akan phrase "Me tiri nyƐ wƆ aware mu" — meaning "I am not lucky in marriage" — is frequently heard. However, relationship experts caution that attributing marital failure to bad luck or supernatural forces often prevents individuals from examining their own choices and patterns.

The Psychology Behind Repeated Relationship Failures

Psychologists point to childhood experiences as a key factor. Women who grew up in dysfunctional households or lacked emotional support from their fathers may unconsciously gravitate towards partners who mirror those early, painful dynamics. Rather than healing old wounds, such choices tend to reopen them. This cycle — sometimes described as repetitive behaviour patterns — sees individuals recreating familiar pain in the hope of eventually resolving it, even as the relationships cause further harm.

Ignoring Warning Signs

Low self-esteem also contributes significantly. Some individuals settle for unsuitable partners despite clear warning signs, convinced they are undeserving of better treatment. Others are drawn to excitement, unpredictability or bravado, mistaking these traits for strength and compatibility. The belief that love alone can reform a troubled partner — be they an addict, an abuser or someone with a history of infidelity — has led many into prolonged unhealthy unions. History consistently shows that meaningful personal change seldom comes from external pressure or romantic devotion alone.

Building a Marriage on More Than Feelings

Experts are united on one fundamental point: successful marriages demand far more than luck or romantic chemistry. The habits, values and character a partner displays before marriage are typically the same ones that will define the relationship afterwards. Choosing wisely — based on compatibility, shared values and realistic expectations — is far more reliable than hoping circumstances will improve after the wedding. Second and third marriages, studies suggest, tend to carry even greater complexity than first ones.

Strong, lasting marriages are built on a foundation of genuine friendship, mutual respect, honest communication, commitment and a willingness to work through difficulties together. Before pointing fingers at evil forces or destiny, Ghanaians facing marital struggles are encouraged to first honestly reflect on the choices that led them there — because where there is no effort, there is very little room for lasting love.